Saturday, October 09, 2004

A Day in the Life of Bob Novak

A Day in the Life of Bob Novak, as Written in His Diary by Himself,

A Saga Told In Thirteen Parts

Day the First; Friday, Morning of the Second Presidential Debate



Two a.m., bad Plame dream’s back.

Got up sweaty, had a snack.

A glass of bourbon helped to ease

My horrid fear of guilty pleas.


Five a.m., woke and jotted down

My goals today in terms of lies for CNN to televise

As well as fictions meant to twist

The truth in ways that would surprise

A seasoned Fox News journalist.



Six a.m., Rove’s on the phone.

Debate tonight, he wants the loan

Of my best secret microphone.

For God’s sake Karl get it right!

On W the wire goes

Somewhere it won’t show through his clothes.


Since Judith’s fall that’s Rove’s fourth call.

(I think he’s keeping tabs on me

in case I blab to NBC).


Nine a.m., I’m out the door and rockin’ to the soulful croonin’

Of my favorite Ashcroft tune. I’m almost late;

For coffee—my first date with Peggy Noonan.

Leggy Peggy digs the verse where Ashcroft’s mighty Eagle soars

Across the sky, so free and high; that’s cool but I just dig the chorus.


Ten o’clock, my nerves are freakin’, out on Pennsylvania walking

Damn its Wilson! Since this weekend, clever bastard won’t stop stalking

This time he’s got a goatee and a little French Beret

What I get for f_ _ _in' with the U.S. CIA.


Now I’m feeling ill at ease, take a tipple from my flask

Carrying the Bush campaign alone is such a thankless task.