Saturday, November 20, 2004

The Poetry of Tom Delay -- Man of the people, especially when they pay for his face-lifts


Some shock was felt when Tom excised

the excess flab around his eyes. In truth the flab

was drab and Tom

wished for a brow with more aplomb


A surgery of vanity from watching too much Hannity?

The one on Fox whose curly locks and steady gaze leave Tom a-daze

And in the night all pitter-patter, lumpy throat,

a-twitter with the joyous hope

That soon his peepers—sort of fishy—might begin to look more dishy

As for so long Tom’s been wishy


The trick Delay was soon to find

Was how to pay for eye-fat suction

For advice he rang up Sean—

Himself just done with butt reduction


Though muffled by the bandages

The voice of Hannity rang clear

And Tom Delay rejoiced to hear

The comfort of his badinages


“Of course now Tom, said Hannity

You realize these nips and tucks

These belly pinches, loose neck plucks

And flabby bottom vaccum sucks

Are not just free—they cost some bucks”


Says Tom, I think I get your thrust. And mused awhile, proud brow curled

Great Man in puckish thought enfurled.

I’ll tell you though it ain’t quite just…a gummint man is what I am

…and holder of the public trust.

For such a man as me this op should surely be for free!

A vital sight-impediment reduction – That’s my sentiment.

A simple tax deduction justified by liposuction!


Soon after in his post-op bed

Did Tom Delay and his new head

Recover from the surgeon’s knife


The TV on—Tom welled with pride

When seeing how in Iraq’s strife

our troops had died. He sighed, and whispered to the floor

Its them boys who I’m fighting for -- for them each day I go to war.