Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Remembering the Surgery with which Delay committed Eye-fat purgery

in which bygone verse is lifted up from archives to shed a light on current events:

As scandal builds about Delay
His mug is often on the screen
you may therefore see on your tube
the man for whom they thunk up "boob"

yet as you glance you might perceive
how youngish, facially, Tom looks...
those stretched-tight plastic cheeks deceive!
Tom once had eye bags to his sleave.

Some shock was felt when Tom excised
the excess flab around his eyes. In truth the flab
was drab and Tom
wished for a brow with more aplomb.

A surgery of vanity from watching too much Hannity?
The one on Fox whose curly locks and steady gaze leave Tom a-daze
And in the night all pitter-patter, lumpy throat,
a-twitter with the joyous hope
That soon his peepers—sort of fishy—might begin to look more dishy
As for so long Tom’s been wishy

The trick Delay was soon to find
Was how to pay for eye-fat suction
For advice he rang up Sean—
Himself just done with butt reduction

Though muffled by the bandages
The voice of Hannity rang clear
And Tom Delay rejoiced to hear
The comfort of his badinages

“Of course now Tom, said Hannity
You realize these nips and tucks
These belly pinches, loose neck plucks
And flabby bottom vaccum sucks
Are not just free—they cost some bucks”

Says Tom, I think I get your thrust. And mused awhile, proud brow curled
Great Man in puckish thought enfurled.
I’ll tell you though it ain’t quite just…a gummint man is what I am
…and holder of the public trust.
For such a man as me this op should surely be for free!
A vital sight-impediment reduction – That’s my sentiment.
A simple tax deduction justified by liposuction!

Soon after in his post-op bed
Did Tom Delay and his new head
Recover from the surgeon’s knife

The TV on—Tom welled with pride
When seeing how in Iraq’s strife
our troops had died. He sighed, and whispered to the floor
Its them boys who I’m fighting for -- for them each day I go to war.