Saturday, April 30, 2005

new american mullah

A fat white mullah spoke to me
From jesusland on NBC
And seemed to indicate
That God was full of rage and hate

Rick Santorum’s latest thoughts
On gays and all their heinous plots
Reveal the effects
Of growing up in fear of sex

Concerning Bill Frist’s bluster
On the harmless filibuster:
Who wants extended chats
With a man who murdered cats?

Dobson’s foaming rants
Evoke the Taliban’s old chants
The new American mullah
Wears pressed suit and pants.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

the holy retribution of Tom Delay

One night while in his boudoir scheming
Tom Delay lay dreaming, dreaming
Of a day of wondrous burning
When the world would reel, learning
How perilous, a Delay spurning

Imagining that holy fire,
Trembled Tom with crude desire
Oh the glorious sacred blaze!
Oh the Whoosh as lit the pyre!
Beneath the gathered angels’ gaze,
Dark would gape a dreadful gyre.

High would scream and plead the fools
Who thought to risk the Hammer’s ire.
One by one into the fire;
Cast by angels bright and cold
From there into the yawning gyre,
(Even Gingrich, small and bold)

Shivered Tom in ecstasy;
Most awfulest of reckonings!
Surely Shays would try to flee;
From the angels’ beckonings
Yet Shays like all the rest would roast
Marshmallows for Tom’s angelic host
Sacre bleu! A Righteous toast.

Monday, April 04, 2005

Senator Johnny Cornyn, Major-league scumball

Congress as we’re taught in school
Concerns itself with Law and Rule
Adjusting legislation to protectify the Nation

Yet Law this week has taken quite a blow
As those who watch CSPAN are sure to know,
Johnny Cornyn, Senator from Texas
Believes that killing Judges, although reckless,

Could simply be a consequence
Of Democratic insolence
That is, you see, they bring it on themselves
By angering the righteous on the Right

Insisting that a rule should still hold sway
Even when it annoys Tom Delay

Now Mr. Cornyn fumes and sues for libel
While muttering in fury to his bible:

“The quickest way to do the job
Is rile up an angry mob;
Perhaps we can use Cable News
To smear the Pinkos, Gays, and Jews!”

“If we get Anny Coulter, say, or Dobson,
to claim our acts are sanctified by God’s Son
And killin’ liberal judges ain’t a crime
And that the murderers should not do time!”

The terrorists we seek are in Iraq
While Cornyn stabs our country in the back.