Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Ode to Bill Frist - the Last Poem (initially posted at an earlier date)

To ad-vance human medicine, a doctor surely must
At times conduct experiments that breach the public trust
Morals must be set aside for scientific breakthroughs!
For cutting-edge discoveries, the rule is snooze and lose

Its certain, for example, Frankenstein would not have risen
If subject to the niceties of civilized derision
Without cadavers looted from their tombs and cut apart
We would not know a fourth of what we do about the heart!

Herophilus of Chalcedon was first to try dissection;
The Greek Physician Galen modeled blood flow to perfection
Andreas Vesalius made discoveries sublime
Until the Inquisition lopped his head off for the crime.

Today of course it’s clear to all that scientific learning
Is worth the sort of setbacks that arise from public burning
The Salem witches as you know were tortured cru-elly
Black Magic is by docs today explained as ESP.

With this in mind we must excuse the scientific hero
Who only seeks to understand the body, head to toe
The benefits of science far outweigh the silly laws
Passed by foes of learning who attack a lofty cause.

Thank goodness there’s a congressman today who empathizes
And all the goals of medicine and science recognizes!
This champion of doctor’s rights, Bill Frist, is more forgiving
Of those who simply have to cut folks up to make a living.

He’s challenged dreary norms with scientific coup de tats!
For example, as a youth Bill Frist dissected cats
He would not listen to the foes of medical advances!
He knew that great discoveries required taking chances

Frist soon became the greatest research doctor of the day
By stealing kitties from the neighborhood SPCA
Its well that there are those who have the guts to do their part
Who can say how much from cats Bill learned about the heart?

"I lost my supply of cats. I only had six weeks to complete my project before I resumed my clinical rotations. Desperate, obsessed with my work, I visited the various animal shelters in the Boston suburbs, collecting cats .... "

January 9, 2003|9:23 AM The Front Page 2003 THE NEW YORK OBSERVER, L.P.
Daschle, Beware: Young Dr. Frist Sliced Up Cats by Ron Rosenbaum